Let's get married. You and me? Whaddya say? I know we haven't met yet, but bear with me. Hear me out first. I mean really, We're not getting any younger. You're not getting any younger. Have you looked in the mirror lately? Your biological hourglass is running out of sand and your ovaries are drying up quicker than a Rocky Mountain oyster in the desert sun. So what are you waiting for? If you can't find the best, then it's time to settle for one of the rest.

Just think of the money we'll save on housing! Rent is so damn expensive. Why are we throwing our money away and not gaining any equity? If we shack up we can split the cost and expand the shack. Say goodbye to those bad roommates that you found on Craigslist, who never washed a dish, lifted the lid, or whose pet chinchilla ate all the houseplants and peed all over your cashmere sweater. I mean, what's the point of sharing a home with someone, let alone a complete stranger, if you're not cooking dinner for each other, rubbing the corns of each others feet after long day, and having so much sex that you dread the idea of having sex with each other? Am I right? Ladies, am I right? (some help here please, people!)

I'm unemployed right now but don't worry, I won't need to rely on your income for very long. I applied at Starbucks and I have a good feeling about my potential career as a barista (although, I am worried I didn't pass their Meyers-Briggs test). Should my unemployment run out, I will augment our family income and work from home (so I can raise our six children) by selling my baseball and basketball card collections on Ebay.

In today's economy and with the housing market in the dumps, with our eventual dual incomes we'll finally be able to afford that dream loft in the city that you've always wanted. It has plenty of room for your parents and sisters if they want to come and visit (you'd be okay with one or more of your sisters sleeping in our bed with us, right?). The bathrooms come with designer elements such as marble & limestone and my favorite part, because I love to cook, most of these places come fully equipped with top of the line kitchens; sub zero fridge & stainless steel appliances! My chocolate dining room table and teal (with chocolate accents) dinnerware set would look so deliciously inviting in this welcoming, family home of ours, built on the foundations of the deepest love and soul-crushing, life compromise.

I promise to cook for you at least three or four times a week and I'm willing to put that in a contract (as long as we also put in the contract that we engage in 'sexual relations' as many times per week as well). However, we should probably find a place a little more affordable. I suggest that we consider moving further out, where our future kids can enjoy the pleasures of playing in the backyard and making each other eat worms, while learning from the older neighborhood kids all about crystal meth and huffing paint. I admit it makes tremendous financial sense but I was just trying to give you everything you've ever wanted in life, a fabulous husband, a beautiful home in the city, the perfect marriage. Can you blame a guy for trying?

Another reason we should get married is that we can begin organizing our wedding registry. Just think of it: a whole new set of kitchen appliances and living room décor! Think of the possibilities...Target, Macy's, Williams-Somona! And if you love Crate and Barrel as much as I do, you know that nothing says happy marriage more than having the correct glasses for red and white wine. And when we have an evening to ourselves, you can drink your wine straight out of the box, with one of the crazy straws that I bought for the kids.

Think about it for awhile. Mull it over and get back to me. I'm willing to get you a decent ring from the pawn shop and I'll take you somewhere tropical, like Olive Garden, for our honeymoon. I'm more romantic than most guys so trust me when I say you're getting a good deal. I may not look like Brad Pitt, but what I lack in looks I will more than make up for in embarrassing moments with the in-laws. Get back to me when you can and let me know what you think. I may not be Mr. right, but I am Mr. right now. We're practically a team now, you and me. One for all and all for one, right? Family first!

I made this poster about what kids are getting in the vending machines at schools. It's a sad day when pizza is a vegetable. The FDA has really dropped the ball when it comes to making sure kids have access to healthy meals.

When you're at the supermarket, be sure to avoid Marie Callender’s pies, Pop Secret’s microwave popcorns, Long John Silver’s Breaded Clam Strips, Pillsbury’s Buttermilk Biscuits (General Mills), Pepperidge Farm’s Luscious 3-Layer Lemon Flavor Cake (Campbell Soup Co.), Utz’s Cheese Flavored Puff’n Corn, Jimmy Dean’s Sausage, Egg & Cheese Croissant Sandwich (Sara Lee Corp.), Celeste’s Original Pizza (Pinnacle Foods Group). Despite heart risks, the companies behind these products, Campbell, Sara Lee, Pepperidge Farm, and General Mills, still pump them with high levels of artificial trans fat.

And be sure to take a look at the Top 10 Worst Foods list.

Source Data for Poster: The Center for Science in the Public Interest

Here is your desktop wallpaper for February 2012*, with calendar, holidays & moon phases. There is a right-hand and left-hand version depending on your preference.

Download full size (1680 x 1050) here: Left    Right

*2012 year is a leap year.

Have an old computer case lying around? Turn it into a winter box for veggies.

Just line it line it with some plastic, poke holes for drainage, add soil, and then plant your winter crops. If you're feeling industrious, you could also add some flat pieces of styrofoam to help insulate the cases on the sides. I spotted some discarded pieces in a neighbor's recycling bin that I used. Then, cover the top with some clear acrylic or plexi-glass. You can even use the plastic insert that is inside the Mac Pro case. It will leave a few inches uncovered, however, so be sure to find something to cover the rest.

The cases are fairly shallow when laid on their sides, at only eight inches wide, so be cognizant of how tall your plants will grow when choosing which ones to plant. I chose an assortment of broccoli, cheddar cauliflower, graffiti cauliflower, candid charm cauliflower, which should grow from 4 to 7 inches in height, plus two heads of freckles heirloom lettuce.

Now that fall is bringing in the cooler temps and the occasional rain, it's also time to turn the soil in the wine box containers (see the Wine Box post) and prepare the winter crops. For the taller plants that wouldn't fit in the shallower  cases, I used a wine box for an assortment of leafy greens and then covered in clear plastic to keep warm and also keep the neighborhood critters from munching them.

Happy Halloween! In today's edition of 'Classic Tables of Contents from the Shamptonian Rare Book Library', enjoy this 1898 edition of Kidnapped, by Robert Louis Stevenson. it was published by Henry Altemus in Philadelphia (Vandecum Series, #179).

Nothing tastes better than vegetables, herbs or fruits grown in your own garden. But you don't need a big space, or even a plot of earth. Find a few empty wood boxes and you're halfway there.

In addition to the boxed herbs started earlier in the spring that include thyme, lemon thyme, Italian & Greek oregano¹, and basil, I've added two long, rectangular hanging baskets. They were easy to hang, and I used coconut fiber lined with plastic (with holes for drainage). I filled one with cilantro, chives, marjoram, tarragon and in the other I planted all strawberries.

The kitchen inside my studio is one of the smallest known to humankind and since the weather is fairly consistent and pleasant here in So Cal, and there is a decent-sized patio right outside the studio door, I've set up an outdoor patio kitchen with a two-burner gas stove, convection oven (there is no oven inside), and chopping block island.

Day/Night

Can you name these herbs? Well, probably, since i've already mentioned them all above. 

As far as this year's vegetable crops, small black krim tomatoes were harvested early. The plant suffered from a drainage problem midway through the season and produced only five or so robust fruits. The rest of the tomatoes finished a few weeks ago with the yellow brandywine's being the last to pick off the vine. The yield was low which can be expected as they were in 5 gallon buckets instead of directly in the ground.

Yellow Brandywines

Caprese with fresh basil, mozzarella and yellow brandywine tomatoes.

Nature provided three tasty red bell peppers, with sweetness beyond belief. Actually, Nature did provide more, but someone not knocked them off the branch early in the season with an errant soccer ball. Protect your vegetables at all costs, people!

I added this one to a soup recently. If you shop at Trader Joe's, I highly recommend a bag of their 17-Bean & Barley soup mix. Its a hearty soup that can feed many.

Quick Tips:
Soak the beans overnight.
Soften your onions, celery and carrots by cooking briefly in butter or olive oil before adding to soup; a little fresh pepper doesn't hurt either.

The Thai peppers and peperoncini plants are at their peak and ready to harvest.

With limited space, I'd say hanging baskets are the way to go. They also keep the caterpillars and slugs out. As long has you have some sunlight, even with a small space, you can grow kitchen herbs that are fresh and ready when you need them.

The new herbs, which are now flowering and must be trimmed back so they can continue to flourish, have also attracted a new group of butterflies².

NEXT EPISODE: ROAST CHICKEN ON THE PATIO

FOOTNOTES:
¹I pitted the Italians and the Greeks against each other in the same box...only Darwin will know who will be victorious. Sorry Plato, Homer, Michelangelo and DaVinci!

²A friend and I were tossing the football around in the backyard one afternoon, and every time we threw the ball, a butterfly would chase it for the entire time the ball was in the air, then whizz by our heads within a foot at the last minute (I'm not supposed to ever speak about, or refer to it as "our butterfly" again). We took a break midway through, and when we started throwing again, the butterfly continued to play catch with us. We were 50 feet apart and if we kept up a good pace the butterfly would fly back and forth, cruising at an even altitude and speed in a figure eight/infinity loop ∞.

It should be noted that the football is a Nite-Brite by Baden, which means it has a phosphorescent coating so it glows in the dark. Any entomologists know if that would affect how the butterfly sees the football? perhaps as a threat trying to chase away? I’m just guessing.

Here's another round of forgotten garage sale slides. This time it's a collection of Pana-Vue slides, manufactured by Sawyer's Inc, from Portland, OR. in the 1960's. These slides are from the sets "Anchorage, Alaska" and "Alaskan Wildlife." The film has severely faded color over time. I tried to remove as much color-cast as I could, but it was near impossible on some images. Some had a few fingerprint marks as well which I did not spot. The slides were sold mostly in tourist shops and camera stores in the 60's and 70's. I think my favorite is this dairy rancher with a young calf.

Matanuska Valley Dairy Farm

This is the Shamptonian Mid-Season Crop Report. The basil has gone crazy. The dill is doing well. The Peppers are starting to flower. The tomatoes are blooming and growning fast ( have two plants in each 5 gallon bucket). The strawberries are flourishing. In fact, I think they need more space, so I'm looking into some hanging strawberry planters a friend told me about.

FIRST PLANTING -> MID-SEASON

 FIRST PLANTING -> MID-SEASON

I've been working fastidiously for the past few weeks on a new ephemeral collection of transparencies from the late 1950's by an unknown photographer, the type of collection you might come across at an estate sale. I've taken care to scan all the photos, and now, after keywording, categorizing, and finally developing in Lightroom, I can finally share them all with you (now back to my own photos!).

I did not clean all the dust and spots, as the collection was not in the best shape, but I did the best I could in improving the exposures, removing major dust blemishes, and removing color casts from the film where possible. The images are 35mm half-frames, circa 1958, and the majority of the transparencies were shot on Kodachrome. The were processed by the Craftsmen's Guild in Hollywood, California and mounted in Robot Easymounts. About half of the transparencies were mounted, the other loose, hence the marginal conditions of some images.

View the entire collection here or on Flickr here.

As an example of an original image vs. one that has been processed through the facilities here at the Shamptonian Institute are below. Scanned at a 300% setting for output, using an Epson V-750, which put overall dimensions of the slides at roughly 1100 x 1100px, and scanned at 240dpi.

Only two days left to support the Shamptonian Institute's Kickstarter project, The Falcon, A Children's Book. It is actually a book for all ages. It's an adapted story from the animated short The Falcon, a stop-motion film which was composed entirely of parts from disassembled antique and analog cameras. Check it out on @kickstarter!

Here's a great low-cost solution for growing your own herbs if you lack a good area with soil or the real estate to plant in the ground. I hate to see good wood get thrown out, so I rescued these boxes from a wine shop awhile back. Most wine shops toss them out, or at most they may cost you a few bucks a box. I've got four boxes now, filled with strawberries, basil, dill, oregano, thyme, cilantro, and a variety of assorted peppers.

Step 1: Cut a hole in the box. a few holes actually, for good drainage, on the bottom should suffice.
Step 2: Do NOT stick your junk in the box! Instead, line the inside with plastic sheeting or a garbage bag, then make sure there are plenty of holes in the plastic for drainage.
Step 3: fill with soil and plant your herb garden!

Optional: you may also choose to stain the box with a wood stain suitable to your liking. but let the box dry before you initiate the other steps.